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Life.

It’s ironic that I’m not talking to you anymore, but I’m still talking to your friends….. Plus you are out of my life already. & I still have to deal w the problems you create + the hurt you caused your friend. Like seriously? Lol oh well.

Anyway, just wanted to say that it’s funny how you think you can’t survive without having someone in your life, but time heals everything. You slowly accept it, get used to it and the wound gradually closes. All that’s left are scars. Memories. And somehow, somewhere along the way, you find that you are okay with it. You are okay with everything now. :-)

Weird huh? How I felt that I couldn’t survive without talking to you last time. How I felt I had to talk to you every single day and I missed you badly when I couldn’t talk to you. It all seems so foolish now. How I cried so hard when we drifted apart, tried so hard to salvage our friendship, how hopeless and depressed I felt when my efforts were for naught. How envious and annoyed I was at the people who was still in your life.

Maybe it’s good. Good that you started to ignore me because of schoolwork but yet managed to find the time to talk to others. Good that we drifted apart and you let me experience the pain all by myself. Good that you weren’t there when I needed you the most. Good that you were the one who caused me so much pain when you were the one who saved me and gave me strength. Good that I learnt how to cope with the pain by myself, even though one of your friends wanted to help me. Good that I experienced and went through that week of pain and horrible breakdowns everyday by myself.

I’ve become stronger. I did hate you for a while, you can’t blame me. But I’ve realised that I’m able to stand on my own two feet and cope with stuff myself. Maybe I feel really helpless sometimes without having anyone to tell everything and anything to. Hell yes, I do miss you, you are my close confidant after all. But I don’t miss the pain.

I’ve wondered when the day will come when I can finally think of you and not feel that affected anymore. And the day’s today. Maybe it’s because I’m in an okay mood now, but for now, let me savour the moment. The moment where I can tell people that I’m not in your life anymore and I’m kind of okay with it. I’m okay with everything now. I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t cry whenever I think of you anymore.

Yes, the memories are still there and they’ll forever be. I can’t change that. But I’ve learnt to cope with them. To accept that people won’t always be there for you. To accept that you can save yourself even though your lifebuoy has gone. You can be your own hero, if you choose to be. You thought that you weren’t strong, but in the end you’ll come out of everything stronger than before.

That’s life.

And maybe it’s hard now. To face life in the face and tell it that you can do it, you can take everything life throws at you. But at the end of it all, when you finally bid farewell to life, you know that you’ve done your best. You’ve survived. Lived, experienced, loved. And then you can leave with no regrets. :-)

And I thank God for bringing me through it all. The pain. Everything. He gave me strength and I’ll forever be grateful to Him for it. :-)

2011
09/16
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And the last song has been sung. I’m strong enough to turn the page, to close a chapter. A final silent farewell, gratitude mixed in w regret. Will miss you.

It’s time for me to walk away silently. It has gone on long enough. Lots of things have reminded me that I’ve really got to move on and to stop holding on to this friendship, when the other person doesn’t even try anymore. And I’m kind of feeling a bit awkward to say this… but I did fall for you for a little while, even though I knew you were batting for the same team. Thank goodness, I could still pull myself out, with the help of God, my friends who know about this, etc.

Not lying. I’ll miss you a hell lot, you’ve been there for one year, and you did what most people couldn’t do. You broke through all my walls in 2010, and in my darkest moments, you were there. You made me open up, and slowly to the people around me. In short, you kind of saved me when I was drowning. And I’m really grateful for that, I won’t forget what you did. :)

But everything’s different now, you will no longer be the one to save me. I’m going to be my own hero, and depend on God and myself for whatever. You won’t see this, but I’m just hoping that you’ve a good life, good friends, and don’t let people bring you down so easily, treat people more nicely like in the way you treated me. Treat your ex-bf that way please, he still can’t let go of you, he still can’t move on, he still loves you. Let him down easily.

Hopefully, closure for me please. This has gone on for far too long, I was in denial for the past few months. But now, I’m alr more than halfway to moving on though I still get reminded of you by so many little things. You’ve left a far too deep impact on my life. It won’t be easy, but God will help me. :)

And I will help myself.

Lying to myself tryin’a act like I don’t care
The way it’s killing me every time
That you’re not there

Coz I get weak
I’m giving it all away
I know it’s not wise to leave myself so open but
All the rules get broken in your eyes
I give it all up to you
And everything that’s been keeping me together
Brings me to my knees
I get weak

I get weak
And all the walls I’ve been building up
Crack and then break when you’re around
I get weak
Nothing I do to fight it matter now

Goodbye. Take care. I love you, bro.

2011
08/21
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Fly.

@7.56pm.

It’s happening all over again huh? Around the same time too last year. Yet another new trial to face as I reach 17 in 5 days. Are all these to mock me? To tell me that nothing will ever be alright? To tell me that I’m stupid and silly to hope that everything will be okay? No wonder, that sense of foreboding came this morning, and I felt really upset but I didn’t know why.

I don’t know anymore. 3 weeks ago, my heart shattered when I said goodbye. By some miracle, it glued itself back together when everything became okay again and there I stood, heart healed, albeit with some scars. I’m finally okay. I finally stopped crying everyday. And just yesterday, I was happy, I felt really free and happy to be free of the crying.

And now this comes. Now what? I’m lost. I admit I’m really shaken up by this because everything’s repeating again. My nightmare. Everything. The one that completely broke the innocent, happy girl 2 years ago and clammed her up unknowingly. Till someone arrived last year and made her open up slowly, and to the people around her. Yes, she felt vulnerable when she opened up to her friends, even her closest ones. But she was getting used to it. Then she met her class this year, and unconsciously, they opened her up more.

C’est la vie. This is my life. And this is reality.

All I want to do is to run away
But yet I know I’ve to find the strength to stay
The tears roll down
The walls are back
The lights in the distance are sparkling
And as I stand in the dark gazing
My feet wants to bring me flying
But I held back
Because I know I’m needed

I’m no longer that girl
She was torn apart
And she broke down
Didn’t get up

I don’t wanna be saved
Because I know I’ve to be my hero
I want so much to be saved
But I know I’ve to be the one to get up
Wash the tears away
Hold my head high
Against the world today

Though every tear I cry
Makes my heart become a little colder
Make me yearn to leave my life behind
To let everything go and fly

But that girl you see now
Will try her best to stay
To live for the people
Who care for her today

Someday, I’ll find a voice for all these words that spilled out just now.

2011
08/15
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I’m not the same.

@1.03pm

I’m not the same girl people knew in the past. I’m not the same girl as when y’all first knew me.

I’ve become a teeny bit stronger but more broken, more bruised. Everything hurts and I know it’s affecting me psychologically, even though I’ve tried my best to fight it. I’m on the verge of giving up for good. It’s my own life though, and I can’t chooose to end it because I wish to.

My dad is strong but deep down, he has many tears in his heart too. Once, a few years back, I thought I was the only one who went through that. How foolish and ignorant I was then. In truth, everyone went through it. And we are all still going through it now.

I can’t blame my mum for anything even if she’s the one causing us everything now. Talking to my dad earlier made me realise that. He asked me if I wanted to see her go through that period again. I don’t. 9 years ago, and I still remember it so vividly. I don’t want anyone of us to go through that again. It was torture, watching someone you love become someone you don’t recognise anymore. I don’t want that.

I want back those happy, carefree times, but it’s not possible. Because time does not wait. Time does not rewind.

I’ve got to be strong for my younger sis and alongside my dad, even if all I really want to do is to give up. It’s hard, but what’s hard will make you harder and stronger right?

I’ve learnt that sometimes, your friends won’t ever know what you go through (because you can’t tell them. And I apologise for that), but sometimes they do help, just by existing or being there or doing stuff to show that they still care and that you are so silly to even have those doubts.

I’m not sure whether I’ll get out of it alive… today. But I’ll probably will, even if I’m wounded.

Dear God, I’m not asking you to make things alright, because I know things will not be alright yet. But please. Please give my younger sis, Dad and I strength to go through everything. And my Mum too.

2011
06/06
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Life;

@12.42am.

I guess I owe a post here. Been somewhere else for too long. But for now, beware lol. The post below is really long. And it’s going to be about some stuff I was scared to share before. But I’m not afraid now. :)

Sigh I don’t know where to start. Start with the depressing ones or the happy ones or vice versa? Guess I’ll start with the more depressing ones first.

I’ve never really experienced how it feels to lose someone I’ve interacted before, or someone I’ve known and talked with at least once. It’s been 1 month and we just heard the news today. I was really shocked, but I didn’t let my emotions show, as usual. I kind of had a feeling though, call it a premonition maybe? ‘Cuz we didn’t see you the year after that.

It’s been 3 years since my sis and I met you during the party on Christmas Eve… when I was Sec 2. When we first met, we all just went on the swings. And talked and sang Christmas songs and other songs and we three just talked and talked. I could tell you were lonely, because you didn’t have kids and you were kind of forced into marriage with your husband. But regardless, you treated us as if we were your own kids that day, talking, laughing and singing and swinging with us.

I know I promised myself not to cry anymore but I don’t know why I’m crying now. I don’t know whether I’m crying over your death or crying over the fact that life and death can be so scary. At that time, when we had to go and said goodbye and to see you next year, we didn’t expect that our meeting that day would be the first and the last.

So RIP, kind and mysterious lady. I hope you are happy up in heaven. Thank you for touching our lives that day.

Why is life so fragile? We can die at any moment, any day and that thought is kind of scary.

And yet sometimes, we still wish for death, wish for it so that everything can disappear and we won’t feel any more pain and hurt. Sigh.

Going to try to live my life to the fullest. And not let anyone or anything get me down.

And for a fact, to rebuke one of my classmates’ response when I told her I wanted to boycott boys, she said boys are very important. I’m inclined to disagree.

They are only important if you perceive them to be so. For me, chasing after guys ain’t really my thing lol. It’s more like silently admiring ‘em from afar and the max only eye-contact or waves. Which is why I prolly won’t find any guy to love me for who I am. But I digress.

So yeah. There are a number of things more important to me. Like God. Like my family. My bffs. My best guy friend B. Etc. Guys aren’t so important to the point that they signify the end of your life when you get disappointed, which is why I’m not going to care about J anymore. If he replies, then he will. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. :)

Anyway, church was beautiful as always. :D

Maybe it’s partially true… but I feel that it’s not just that. It’s the fact that you have enough faith to believe in the unseen, to believe in miracles, to believe that God is always there for you, and that you’ll never be alone. To feel that life is so much more than the daily mundane things we do, or our worries, our obstacles. To feel that life actually has a purpose. We don’t only exist/live because of ourselves.

I live, because God created me. If He didn’t do that, I wouldn’t even be sitting here typing this, wouldn’t even be on this Earth.

And the priests are so cute haha. When they went down to sprinkle holy water on us, Fr Edward came by our side, but I only felt a little. Then Fr Albert went down the other side, which is like one entire row away from us, like a few metres. But yet he sprinkled it with such force that we were drenched. HAHA I really felt so many drops of water and the back of my head get totally splashed

And Fr Albert went back and then sprinkled each altar boy individually haha. Then he went up to some of them and rly sprinkled directly in their faces, which made my family and a few others in the congregation laugh non-stop. (Y) And then the ending part too haha. Too cute. Really love my parish church, Church of the Holy Trinity ^^

Okay, that’s about all I wanted to say. And it’s 1am right now, so accurate o.o But I’ve to add one last thing. I’m glad I chose to write about the depressing stuff first, then the happier ones. :D If not, I’ll prolly be sitting here crying instead of feeling better about things.

K one more last thing to end, its the last I promise! Live, laugh, love. Cherish every moment, heck, LIVE FOR THE MOMENTS. Lol, all these sound so cliche but they’re true. And appreciate and love all the people by your side, before one day it gets too late and you don’t even get to see them anymore.

2011
04/24
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Writing and stuff;

@9.46pm.

Although I kind of regret not choosing another CCA sometimes :/ But I’m rather happy now with my current one.

Though it isn’t really bonded, we don’t really meet up, but I can fulfill my passion there. :) The love for writing.

The way you feel the words flow out of your thoughts, the way you are able to put thoughts on paper, the way you are able to learn more about people, about the world, about you.

Sigh, about the issue of T3A…. I don’t know though. Should I run for committee? I wish I wasn’t so scared of interviews ._. Scared that I can’t answer those questions. But if I’ve lived through a nerve-racking guitar audition and several nerve-racking days before that, I can do this too right?

Need to manage my time better. Need to stop getting distracted. I’ve removed people from my life, or rather a certain person. It hurts, but I’d rather have the pain of not having said goodbye properly, not giving you an explanation and suddenly removing you from my life, than the constant plaguing thoughts about you and the fragile balance of the whole situation. I’m sad to lose a good friend though. And though people think it’s wrong that I’m doing it this way, it’s my own way and I don’t need your approval lol. My choice. And I’ll deal with the regrets myself.

C’est la vie. So imma hold my head up high, blink the tears away and say goodbye. :) Live well k, though you won’t see this, I know.

Now for work.

2011
04/04
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Flying;

@9.52pm.

I just kind of crushed an ant with my paper.

Sometimes, I feel like an ant. Ants are easily crushed, so easily killed, yet they still come out of their nests to crawl about, to look for food or to look for goodness knows what.

But sometimes, I feel like a crushed ant. Seemingly truly insignificant. Something to be laughed at, made fun of, teased.

Sorry, but sometimes I’m tired of being the one to be always teased, though I know it’s all in good fun etc.

Maybe, I’m PMS-ing. Oh great.

Yea, I still feel like a crushed ant though. So easily killed. And put down.

If I don’t exist, nothing will change.

Right?

No, I’m not that stupid to think of taking my own life. Yesterday I was hesitating whether to knock on my house’s door and go in, I couldn’t find the strength to do it and went up a flight of stairs to the 13th floor. Guess I’m not that terrified of heights anymore. Looked down, and everything looked so small. The ground seemed so far away. For a moment, I dreamt of flying, plunging down. But then somehow, something brought me back to reality. The faces of everyone dear to me. My family, PeiSze’s, Shuqi’s, Jessica’s, James’ and Ben’s stood out starkly for some reason. And from that moment, I knew I won’t ever do such a thing.

No matter how life sucks. No matter what happens.

I want to do something else in the future after my studies. Or rather experience certain stuff before death.

And I definitely don’t want to perish for such a superficial yet crucial thing. Grades can make you or kill you. Disappointments can suffocate you, or spur you on.

Deep down, it’s still up to you.

2011
03/23
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“What about humanity gives you hope?”

@10.24pm.

And now I’m sitting here, crying my heart out. For some reason, my mood just went down. And I’m once again retreating to where I always turned to. My writing place. This place.

My dad isn’t home from work yet, ‘cuz he had to turn back to his workplace when halfway home just now. My mum is tired and cranky and I don’t blame her. She said that this home doesn’t seem like a home anymore, not like last time where my dad always came home at a reasonable hour and how we were happy together, despite financial stuff. And I don’t know. Those words just triggered the avalanche of tears. I wanted to tell her, that that’s the price of reality, the price of earning more, the price of free will.

I’m confused. I’m tired. I’m doubtful. I don’t know who to trust anymore. I don’t know who I can truly tell everything to. I can name a few though. B, PS, SQ. But the point is… I can’t tell anyone everything. Well, B’s pretty darn close to it, but then again, what you said is true. I don’t really know you, you can’t touch me, I don’t see you around everyday. And maybe, that’s the reason. I don’t know.

K on to another thing I’ve been wanting to write about. B asked a simple, yet powerful question just an hour ago. “What about humanity gives you hope?”

My answer at that time was: Simple things GMH, like when I’m talking to close friends about stuff, seeing people help other people, the innocence of children, the rain, my family, even though they rly upset me sometimes. Seeing people stay strong despite facing disasters and whatnot. Knowing that I’m not perfect and that I’ll never be, but yet God will accept me the way I am. Seeing that citizens of certain countries can break past the things they used to have to conform to. Seeing the people around me and esp. those i care about, safe and warm and healthy. Seeing people fighting impossible battles and achieving beyond what everyone expects ’em to. The list goes on.

It’s true. Music GMH. The imperfections, the sad moments, the moments where you feel like there’s no hope, the disappointments, the obstacles. They all serve to intensify the hope you feel, after overcoming all these. Granted, these moments happen almost all the time. But somehow, when you least expect it, people and things appear, unconsciously making everything better, allowing you hope that maybe everything’ll be better one day.

Ahah damn, the tears started up again. And now, the counter-argument.

“What about humanity that puts you down, what about it that makes you feel like there’s no hope for mankind and wonder why you still exist and why you aren’t living?”

Simple. Certain ways of the world. The skewed perspectives. The biased, assuming perceptions of certain issues.

The way grades are forever going to cast a shadow over us. A shadow you can’t erase. The standard that people’s going to judge you by. The school you are in; the elite school or the neighbourhood schools. Today, one of my friends said a simple comment, I’m not sure whether she meant it seriously, but still, it did have some impact on me. Aren’t the people in neighbourhood schools/the elite schools still the same? Well, granted, the intellect, facilities and standard may be different. But aren’t they the same as us? They are able to achieve what sometimes we can’t even achieve.

The way money is forever going to control the world. Control our lives. Control our daily activities. Because ultimately, we all still need money to buy our necessities and to survive.

The way people view homosexuals/bisexuals, etc. Aren’t they humans, like the rest of us? Aren’t they s’posed to have the right to love whoever they want, like us? Why do people ostracize or avoid them at all costs and be afraid of ’em? I don’t get why.

Regardless, though the world seems hopeless sometimes, I guess there’s still a shred of hope in all of us, deep down.

And the tears have dried. Plus my earphones are now blasting the clean version of Perfect by Pink; it’s on repeat. Time to drown myself in my work.

Oh btw, no offence to anyone I’ve offended unconsciously, somehow. Just some discussions or rather talks with B, plus my close friend, plus some of my classmates that brought everything out today. Yea, all those issues written above somehow came out in the talks I had with the people today. This took exactly half an hour. O.O

K bye.

2011
03/21
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Reminiscing; thoughts.

@2.02am.

Head hurts like hell atm. ._. I should prolly go sleep soon :( Haha :x Anw, ignore the last post o.o >< yikes lol.

Orientation was okay, I guess :) got to know my class better etc. :D Last day ftw the most though (Y) Didn’t know that we all could have wild sides :p Including myself :O Maybe it didn’t come out as often as it did during the past 2 years, but still haha. Kind of surprised but still rather relieved it’s still there.

K THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. LOL.

Anw clubbing ftw :) Addicted to all the songs and dances :)

Sigh. Official lessons start on mon… Timetable a bit nice. -.- Really. Oh well :/ Scared too ._. >< Wonder how it’ll all go :( Lessons, exams and all that…

Addicted to songs atm. Especially this remix by New Edition. Link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH00rmWOTtU&feature=related

Yup, it shows scenes from the anime Myself; Yourself though which is awesome :) Addicted to that song <3 Has been on replay for almost the whole day heh. It’s just so catchy and awesome. Was trying to resist listening to the mass dance songs just now, ‘cuz I really felt this strong urge to dance when I start listening to ’em :x

Still lots of hw undone oops. I should really go do it ><

And yknow sometimes, people aren’t really what you perceive ’em to be. Deep down, everyone needs someone to be there for them, no matter how badass they seem to be or how strong they look or how happy and outgoing they are. ‘Cuz sometimes, it’s way easier to just hide everything beneath a cheerful and happy exterior, when actually you are dying and being torn apart inside.

Yupyup haha. Oh random talks ftw. <3 Haha, esp. to a person you just got to know recently. Somehow, it just cheers me up whenever someone that comes into MH chat is sg-rean :D LOL.

I’ve been thinking… actually no, moping to be exact >< Like I was wondering what I’m going to do with my life. Heck, I don’t even know what I want to be in the future… :/ Really admire those people who know what they want to be. Much much easier and they’ve got a clear direction.

And sometimes, I wish I was more outgoing/brave/sociable, and be able to talk easily to people and not be so awkward and insecure sometimes. Damn sad seriously. :( >< But at least it’s better than when I was in sec 1, I guess. But yea, sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much about what people thought of me, actually no, not really o.O It just came back recently, esp. with the change in class environment etc. >< Not used to change, and insecurities returning. Damn. x.x I’m retreating more too, back into my shell and becoming more anti-social GG. -.- Didn’t talk much/laugh much nowadays… except with my group of friends lol. I really miss 4J omg :( Zijun, Shuqi, Xiaojun, Shihui etc :/ Really miss ’em a lot…

真的，失去了，才懂得真正地珍惜。Hahah oh well. :O

Eh this post became rather long o.o OOPS. Haha, no one reads this anw, since I haven’t updated for quite long :D I hope. -cross fingers-

Just that… I really really hope I won’t be that lost, that I will be able to find my direction soon. What I want to be, and what I really want in my life etc. My priorities. The people who I care for. Try to adapt to my new class environment. Stop being so insecure and learn to accept myself and all my flaws :) And not to care about what other people think about whatever I do.

And most importantly, stay happy :) Make impacts in people’s lives. For the people around me to be happy too. For everything to be alright. For myself to be stronger, not to think so much about the past. And don’t get into anything now that I’ve moved on from everything finally. :D

Gosh, I feel so much better. Should have typed this sooner huh. -.- Heh.

Time really flies. From a crying, timid toddler @ Nursery and K1 to a-bit-more-mature and outgoing K2. From an outgoing and unafraid P1 to a bit more aware and terrified, yet excited that she was growing up and graduating P6. From a still timid, shy, a little unknowing Sec 1, to a much more aware Sec 2, to an even more aware and not that innocent, yet still shy and quiet around new people Sec 3 to a more corrupted, loud-laughing, teasing others, much more mature and seeing the world through clearer eyes Sec 4. Which isn’t that good, since I tend to overthink more and realise that the world isn’t as kind as I thought it was. But still yup :) And a listener since Sec 1 onwards lol and became more aware/sensitive to other people.

Kind of ironic actually since whatever advice I give others don’t work for me/doesn’t have any effect on me. Damn fail hahaha.

Okay… if I don’t stop, its gotta reach 900 or 1k o.o Yikes haha.

Ciao. :)

2011
01/16
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On the last day of 2010; Curtain call once again. :) Thankful. ^^

@8.33pm.

I figured it would be appropriate to end the year of 2010 with a post. :) And also this post is to welcome 2011, I guess. :) I haven’t blogged frequently in a long while, and I guess I do owe it to myself and lots of people too. This post will be completely unedited and truthful lol, so don’t assume stuff etc. :x

Song atm – Shakugan No Shana – All in Good Time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnZ_5kdzxWo

Was listening to that yesterday too, while writing those cards for all my friends. :)

2010 ain’t a simple year. I thought that there won’t be much changes after 2009, but boy was I wrong. Very wrong haha. Lots of stuff happened, school-wise and in my life. Even right now at this moment, it isn’t completely peaceful and worry-free. But hey, I’m feeling rather peaceful despite the chaos at home. And I’ve survived this entire year, right? :)

Haha got to know lots of new people this year. :) Some of ’em have become really close, and everything was rather unexpected. (Shoutout to Ben here haha.) Didn’t expect you to become a close friend, ever since April this year. And I’ve gotten really close to my entire group of friends. :) More so, this year. :D

I’ve been high/hyper/laughing crazily at times this year. Lots of tears too, though not many people know. Whether I’m alone at home or sometimes in school. I’ve had a rather long crush on someone haha -.- Omg ashamed to admit it sia, but I’ve gotten over it now and I’m glad to say that :x I’ve sometimes wondered what my life is about, and the reason for my existence. But over the course of this year, I’ve understood more about myself and learnt a lot too.

To sum it all up, it has been a rollercoaster ride, a merrygoround, and smooth and rough at times. I’m disappointed with myself though… About my results. But I think I can say I did my best, because I did put in my all this year… But since it’s turned out this way, I’ve nothing more to say. I’ll just continue to work harder. I need to answer to everyone who has high hopes for me.

So much to say… but now as I type this, I don’t really know how to express all my mixed emotions into words. ._> Haha, I’m going to jump to another part now ._. And see if I can return later hahaha.

Anw, I really have to thank God for everything I have in my life. My life itself, for saving me on the 4th day of my birth, for protecting me throughout my 16 years of existence, for protecting me from being run down by cars and saving me from many close shaves with death.

For my family. For my mother, although she can be too controlling and really strict at times, not letting me go out etc, but still I guess she’s worried about me, so yup. And for listening and reassuring me when I overthink about certain stuff. For my father, for being there, for encouraging me when I’m knocked down, for buying me bubble tea and cheering me up when I’m down, for listening to me when I couldn’t find anyone else to talk to. For giving me random hugs, that just break the dam. Like now. >< For my vibrant, cheerful younger sis who put up with me despite the way I treat her sometimes. For picking up the pieces with me whenever chaos happen in the house. For telling me not to cry, whenever I start crying, ‘cuz I just feel so helpless with the way things are going sometimes. I love you all. <3 :)

For my entire group of friends+bffs. Who are so awesome and so amazing that I don’t know what I’ll do without ’em. Disappear maybe, or hide from the world. But thank you PeiSze, Jessica, Shu Qi, Xiaojun, Steph, Yenlin. Thank you for being there. :) Almost everything’s written in the card, but nope, not all I want to say. You all certainly made my school life more colourful :) Thanks for cheering me up when I’m down :D Be there to talk :) And to go crazy over random stuff haha, like Pikachu, anime, bubble tea, over school stuff, mugging O.O and just gathering all together like today ^^ And trying new stuff together hahaha. :D Though we’ll all be in separate classes/schools next year, we still must stay together and go out whenever we’re free ^^ Or go Xiaojun’s house to bake again haha! And spam pics + wade in the swimming pool!!!! :( Take care y’all :p See you guys next year :D MUST PHOTOCOPY EACH OTHER’S TIMETABLES AND COORDINATE TGT AH.

For the new people I’ve known this year, whether rather long ago, or just recently.

To Ben haha. :) Thanks for being there, knocking sense into me with your really sound advice, making me realise that it isn’t only me that have such stuff happen, for listening and for talking ’bout random stuff that cheer me up. :) You better stay happy, take care of yourself, and last long + enjoy your time tgt with that -ahem- of yours! Jy for PCME next year hahaha. I’m freeeeeeeeee from physics :D Don’t think so much too k. :)

To MH chat peepz. :) I think I can never really leave for long/take a long break from chat haha. I think I tried before, but in the end I gave up and went back. You guys are a lively, vibrant, fun and awesome bunch of peepz to talk to :D And I’m really glad I entered the chat on Christmas Day last year haha. Thanks for listening to my sorrows sometimes, and start cheering me up when I’m sad or encounter failure, like the guitar fiasco. >< And yup, lots of fun times haha. Like transforming into a drakon suddenly ._> Courtesy of drakey. Thanks Kath, Brain too for lots of stuff :) And thanks to SG chat peepz, like aLtOr (James), Epicness (Brandon), drakey (Brandon -.-) Etcccccccccccc. :D And ty sharmima, magz, keon, badger, sammie, shak, the list goes on haha. :)

To NTUC proj CIP peepz, Saumun,  Qi Zheng, Nicholas, Farhanah, Valentina, Xin Ru and my entire group of friends, etc :) I can’t remember all your names omg sorry >< T_T I’m really glad I decided to go for CIP after I recovered from that guitar incident >< Didn’t go for the first few days, ‘cuz I was still upset oops haha. :x But CIP turned out really fun :) And I found myself looking forward to it each day haha. Crazy wagon-pushing ^^ Re-arranging of books, guiding the parents with their booklists, and omg the carrying of the heavy boxes ._. And the taking of quite a lot of pictures at the end haha :D Glad that we all still have those pics as memories :) Haha, eh PeiSze, Jess, Shuqi, Yenlin, Steph, lets go again next year to help. :}

Omg -.- Exceed 1k words le. >_> I doubt anyone will read this. Or rather complete reading this -.- Nvm, this is for me :D Haha. Actually I think I’m done. Almost, anyway.

Thanking God for the little things in life :) For the everyday happenings and the not so significant stuff that happens, but which still give me strength and hope to carry on :D Anime <3 最近才开始爱上了它！Bubble tea, baking cookies + cake, laughing over random stuff, etc. If I continue, I think this post will never end. :p

Yup, to sum it all up again :p Glad yet sad that 2010 is over. :) Apprehensive + scared, yet kind of excited for JC. -.- Though I think I’m freaking terrified for the starting of school, to be really honest. ._. But still, hope 2011 will be okay and go smoothly haha. :D

Life is simple, I guess. Nothing matters as long as you are happy, and the people around you + the people who you love and care about are healthy and happy too. :)

I’m grateful and I’m blessed. I guess, that’s all I’ve to say hehe. :D

K if you even reach this part right… I commend you. :O So thanks for reading <3 Hope everyone is well and happy + ready for 2011. :)

♥

P.S. Right. 1370 words and still counting. This post took exactly 1 hour. I’m a bit amazed. o.o

2010
12/31
CATEGORY
Heart-to-heart; heartfelt; pure truth; unedited.
Life's little miracles
Pictures; snapshots; moments of life.
Tradition: Monthly posts (normally on the 1st day of each month.)
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