Posts Tagged ‘ life ’

September.

@11pm.

As promised. I’ll post on the 1st day every month. ‘Cept maybe for next month; eoys ._.

I haven’t finished my work. Still have jianbao and LA etc etc, but I’ve to get this out. Don’t read it; if you don’t want to see emo stuff. It’s going to be rather emo >< On 2nd thought; probably mainly reflective.

Yea, threats again. Didn’t feel scared surprisingly; think I’ve gotten used to it. Not sure whether that’s a good or a bad thing.

I don’t know whether I will make sense. Or maybe I’m just in this kind of numb/nonchalant/weird mood right now. No idea but…

I think I’m not afraid to die.

Surprising thought for me; considering how I thought about death before; and was rather scared/afraid of death; and that I’ll miss everyone, and have lots of regrets and stuff.

Yknow when that thought popped into my head randomly around 3 mins ago, I was rather shocked @ myself lol.

I’m no longer afraid of death. Or maybe I’m no longer THAT afraid of death. Or dying and leaving this world and everything behind.

For goodness’ sake, I’m not feeling suicidal or anything. Don’t be like James on fb, telling me not to jump or sth. >< I’m not that dumb to give up life like that; though sometimes I admit it’s rather tempting. But I won’t. ==

‘Cuz there are still people I can’t seem to let go of. Family; bffs; friends; and friends that I’ve gotten really close to now. Yea, all of them. (:

So I won’t ever do that. -.-

Well, anyway, as I was saying, it just feels weird. Idk. o_O maybe I’ll wake up tmrw or look back after I wrote this post and wonder what the hell I was thinking and posting this post ’bout not afraid of death. ;O

I’ve no idea whether it’s good or bad… But I guess if I was to go now; I won’t be that scared. Because I know that I’ve kind of learnt lots from life, though it’s really hard at times. And made lots of friends… and know who my true friends were, etc.

But I think I may still have some regrets; and miss lots of people, of course. ):

I’ve a feeling that this is brought about by that msn convo on death/ending of the world etc etc with Ben. BEN, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IS IT? o_o I’ve no idea, to be honest. o_O This thought just suddenly came; and I just had to write.  As usual. (:

Weird huh. Really weird. But whatever hehe. :D

Anw, this month is eventful, I guess. I don’t really want this year to end though, sad and pathetic and busy as it sounds, this year made me realise too much stuff and so many changes in this year, when I thought that there couldn’t be much changes this year. Life’s surprising huh. :X

Indeed.

Almost 500 words. Oops, haven’t posted such a long/reflective post in ages, I think. Heh. ><

And thankyou to all the people who have stuck by with me throughout. (: You don’t know how much certain people mean to me lol. They may never know too, but they are. (: If you are reading this; then I think you definitely are.

And thankyou so much, God. (:

Oops exceeded 500 words and I should really go continue my jianbao due tmrw now. Sucks manzxzx. ;(

Lets add 1000 words to the post, aye? (; Ohwait, I changed my mind. How about 3000 words? -grins- 8D And oh credits to tumblr for all these lovely pics. (: <3

And 15 mins to type this 600+ words post. And 5 mins for the uploading of pics ._.

Random but #nowplaying – Backstreet Boys – This Is Us. :D And I do feel much better after this post; hehe 想开一点点；看开一点点! And oh why the heck are my eyelids twitching like crazyyy. ==

Anw take care; au revoir :D

:D

/edit @2.40am.

I caught my 1st dragon :D And that kinda made my night/morning. (: -yawns-

2010
09/01
CATEGORY
Uncategorized
TAGS





Leave a comment

August.♥

Hai. (: Tradition to do a start of the month post everytime, so here I am again.

I’m trying hard not to cry… Blame it on the song I’m listening .______.’ Haven’t listened to it for so long. Angels brought me here – Guy Sebastian (Y) Awesomest song ever <3

Sigh. The month of July… I guess it passed too fast, as all months do. Closer and closer to EOYs and closer to the end of junior high. Funny how time flies. I still can remember… when I was Year 1 and coming to DHS. College, then uni, then work. Sad thing is, I don’t wanna grow up so fast. :/

Oh wellz. What am I supposed to be talking about ._.’ Ah. About the month of July >< I can’t remember much tbh. >< It was just one week after one week of school and tests. :/ Owait, not really.

Thankyou God♥♥, for helping me through everything as always. (: I don’t have to elaborate.

Thankyou to 4J, to all those who helped me and comforted me when I was down (: And also shuqi, xiaojun, zijun, shihui for being an awesome bunch :D

Thankyou bffs <3 I don’t know what I’ll do without y’all :(
Dajie, Jess <3 and Erjie, Peisze :D ♥

Thankyou Mum, Dad, Annabel. ♥ Sigh, please help everything be okay soon.

Thankyou Ben, for keeping me somewhat sane o_o And for helping me with homework heh. :] x] Though I doubt you’ll see this but yup (:

Thankyou to whoever who invented bubble tea. AND KOI ♥ Lol. One of the simple pleasures in life these days.

Thankyou everyone who has helped me in one way or another (:

Thankyou Jer, Nic too (:

Thankyou to all those who treated me as an emotional trashcan too. (: I guess… it has kind of made me more patient? o.o Idk. LOL.

And thanks life too (Y) Though you were really really hard to get through at times, and I’ve lost count of the number of times I wanted to give up. Still. I guess I’ve.. mmm.

As I said before,

“Often the hardest times are the most memorable times. And the times where you realise who your true friends are and how strong you can be. And you’ll grow and learn from it. :) Learn how to be strong in the face of adversity. Realise which are the ones always by your side.” :D

Heh yeah. (: One more thing:

“Walls. Facades. Built around themselves. Not to let anyone know their secrets. But not everyone uses them to keep people out. Sometimes the purpose of building those walls may be just to find the one who’s willing to spend the time getting through them.”

Mmm. ^ xP It’s really true though…

Really looking forward to church tmrw. Finally. (:

And for August. 19 days after today -coughs- is -coughsomeone’sbirthdaycoughs- don’t forget (:

I didn’t say anything 8D *innocent angelic smile*

Hope August will be better and don’t pass so fast. EOYs are fast approaching and I’m definitely not ready for them.

ciaoooooo~ (:

P.S. After I edited and read it again o_o I realised that it’s 500+ words ;O Heh. And the most amt of tags in this post :X

@1 August 2010, 1.30AM.

2010
08/01
CATEGORY
Uncategorized
TAGS






















Leave a comment

Life. :)

HIIIIIII :D I just realised I haven’t posted a proper post in months. Actually weeks. Well, got tired of the last post staring at me and yeah I just felt I had to post today :D

Anyway, have to rush this post in 15 mins >< Got to go soonnnnnn .___. But will be back around 10+ ;P

Okay, I thought about part of this post while I was in church. So here goes that part:
I was reading my past messages, drafts and whatnot about ramblings about life last year and this year, etc. And this suddenly struck me, when I was waiting for mass to start. ;D

When I look back next time, will I ever think about how I don't give some things my all sometimes, and live my life as a better person?

When I start working, will I start to miss school, all the crazy homework loads and tests, compared to working assignments and deadlines? I think I will miss it actually. I'll miss the crazy times with my class, getting high with my bffs and friends <3 I will miss laughing with them, eating fish and chips + drinking grape juice with nata in the canteen <3 Will miss obsessing over little things and over trivial stuff ;d

And one major thought here: Will I still use facebook? Play mousehunt and chat happily with the mh chat peeps? Or talk with altor and crypt in my channel?

Everything may change. But I hope that the child in me, the innocence, and the ability to be thankful for everything, won't ever change. I'll try my best to LIVE everday, be thankful, and keep in contact with all my friends in chat and RL :D

DONE ;d And I’ve to go now sadly. Will edit this post later. I’ve lots moreeeeeee to say!!!

ciaooooooooooo~ (for now)

/edit @ 1:21AM

LOL. Just saw a baby ant just now, across my computer screen. Sigh. :/ Listening to Vanilla Twilight by Owl City♥ Sometimes, I think I overthink too much. Ah wellll, it’s true. ;P Mmm. Maybe I should just worry about today. (Matthew 6:34- Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.) :D Yeah, I shall try my best to do that :)

Well, haven’t said all my stuff to be thankful for so long, that I’ve forgotten which day it is :/ *checks back* Today is Day 5, though it’s supposed to be further :/ LOL.

Okayyy here goes: Thankful for everyone :D That have helped me and comforted/encouraged/taught me so far. :d Or just talking. It does help. :)

Actually I do wonder what I’m going to be in the future. I still have no idea what I want to be. Sad huh? :/ From kindergarten to secondary 1, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. But it suddenly changed one day. Now I’m unsure lol. ;d Shan’t worry too much. Sometimes, I have many things unsaid, deep down inside. It’s hard but I’m already used to it. :X Not too good though, to bottle everything up. ;d So writing is an outlet for me actually. :D (Side note: If My Heart was A house♥)

LOL. I just realised I found something random. My history empathy poem project, with PeiSze, Dawn Eileen, in Secondary 2. Though I wrote the whole poem :O But then they did present it brilliantly :D And we scored 16/20 for that. ;P First success of a poem, especially for history :D

It was from the POV of an Australian POW though. Sigh .____. The Death March to be precise.

Here’s my poem, presenting:

THE DEATH MARCH
From the point of view of William Fancourt Giffard Armit, an Australian prisoner of war

Freedom seemed surreal,
out of reach —- no hope.
Terrified with what we would face,
seized with a longing for death,
to set us free from this cruel reality.

We listened to empty promises,
looked forward to a land of milk and honey,
a place of freedom, of equality.
a journey to an unknown place,
a chance to start anew.

Harsh conditions awaited us,
greeted by brutality, graves and gloom,
terrified and distraught, we marched on,
yet a tiny sliver of hope remained,
little did we realise,
our requisite stretch in hell had just begun.

Our comrades were collapsing by the day,
the atmosphere filled with the stench of death,
wondered how long our fortune would last,
before we join them in heaven soon.

Day passed excruciatingly slow,
night could not come fast enough,
oil lamps kept burning round the clock,
tedious labour, exhausting work.

Overcrowded, diseased, far from civilisation,
laden, fevered, starved,
we yearned for fresh air, our loved ones,
barely clothed, tortured and beaten,
our bodies broken beyond belief,
our will to live was shattered by our grief.

Growing weaker by the minute,
closer to freedom day by day,
holding on to the last remnants of sanity,
allow it to slowly slip away.
Rest for a while,
Let go. Relief at last. I fell.
Closed my eyes and knew no more.

-END-

When I look back sometimes, I’m surprised at the way I write or at the fact that I can write such a thing. So looking back at all my past posts and writings, they are really thought-provoking for me, and remind me that nothing is impossible. :D

Volere è potere. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be. Time to accept life as it is. :)

1:40 AM now :O HAHA. Ciaoooooooooo~ :D

P.S. From See your Daily Advice app on Facebook: take time to think and be thankful. :D I JUST REALISED THIS IS AN ULTRA LONG POST OMG!! ALMOST BEAT THE thankful for 2009 post. LOL. This is almost a thousand words \m/ to compensate for the lack of posts, I guess :D

2010
02/20
CATEGORY
Uncategorized
TAGS




Leave a comment

Life.

Life can be anything.

No matter what you are. You choose the way you are going to live.

Crap, someone please knock me on the head? I’m getting emotional over an ant?!

Am I PMS-ing or something? Or just having extreme mood swings!?!?

Yea, a teeny little ant is crawling on my com screen now. To be exact, I think it’s a baby ant. A tiny, innocent baby ant.

And no, I’m not that cruel to kill it. .___. Sigh. This just reminded me of the fragility of life and how short it is.

Yknow what? I think we can learn many lessons from around us, if we just take the time, to stop, watch and listen.

A tiny baby ant symbolises life too.

Never forget that. Life is fragile. It’s short. Live it to the fullest. Laugh and savour the memories. Love and everything will turn out okay.

P.S. I don’t know what made me write this post? But it’s all thanks to that tiny baby ant. And God. God make me realise many things that I’ve neglected and never noticed before. Today was monumental. Shall post more later. It’s getting very late now LOL.

Reminder:
Post on Confirmation.
Post the lyrics I wrote :D

2009
11/01
CATEGORY
Uncategorized
TAGS

Leave a comment

Life as it is.

Hmm, have been thinking a lot lately. And hopped to a person’s wordpress from a link to one of my posts (since one of her posts is almost the same topic as mine)

Go read if you have time [: She’s a real amazing writer and I feel really lucky to have found her blog. She expresses some of the things I’m feeling now perfectly Lol :D

Anw’s here’s the link!
Melissa’s wordpress

Yeap. Now I’m at page 5 of her wordpress still, reading this post.

Now some of my thoughts and realisations. Although it may be really hard to do that sometimes.

Okayy. Haha, shall start with my pm on msn first :D It’s true, at least for me.
Here: Life is letting go but it’s hard. {Becoming attached to people is bad, trust me. ‘Coz people change & things change.}

Hmm. Life is about letting go. Okay, maybe the second part may make not much sense coz I was in a kind of frustrated and jealous mood just now :O

Anw, yeah. People go in and out of your lives easily. Time passes so quickly, even as I’m typing this. And people change. Some others may disagree with me on this, but it’s true. There are always either changes in everyone, no matter how minor or major. And that includes me.

Being attached to people. Hmm, now this is a problem. Lol, sometimes I get attached to people who I find, is easy to relate to. Sometimes, it’s hard when one’s drifting away from another person slowly. It’s like an invisible light bond between two people. And it depends on whether that bond is strong or relatively weak.

If it’s strong, it will stand the test of time and no matter what happens, that person will always be with you. If it’s weak, any obstacle or another person could easily saw at the bond and break it down gradually.

Sigh. Now that’s the problem, actually with weak bonds. Becoming attached. And sometimes, it does hurt a lot when you drift away from someone.

This post may be a bit confusing since I’m not exactly sure how to express this into words. Yeap, shall give you an analogy ;) For e.g., Person A, B and C.

A and B become friends and grow closer. They talk sometimes, and have quite a close connection over time. However, C, which can be friends with A longer than B, or perhaps knew A longer and better, just suddenly steps in and starts taking control of A.

And then B is left alone, with the connection slowly weakening. B can’t help but feel hurt and a little jealous but there’s nothing the latter can do.

Yeapyeap. Haha, this is NOT an emo post. It’s just some thoughts yeah. And may not be in real life situations.

After I read the post that Melissa wrote (link above), I started thinking differently. What if it was for the other person’s good? Yes, life is about letting go. And sometimes, you have to let go of the people you are attached to, not because you don’t like or want them anymore, but just because it’s for their own good? To test the relationship between people? Or to see if they care enough about you to continue caring?

But it’s hard. Yes, it is, but then if one has a perspective on life and situations in a different light, life may be different.

Haha, longest post I’ve ever written gosh! Almost 600 words :D

Anw, leave your thoughts and comments please! 8) I’ll love to hear them.

ciaooooooooooooooo~

2009
08/29
CATEGORY
Uncategorized
TAGS




6 comments