Archive for the ‘ Uncategorized ’ Category
HAHA k settled. :) Decided to move to -drumroll- tadaaaa -points down-
http://dancelivelaughlovebreathe.wordpress.com
Yuppp. A new beginning and a new wordpress to start off everyth again will be good. Go follow me there! :)
Hiiiiiii, haven’t posted in here for a long while hahah.
Debating whether to move to another wordpress. So for now, I’ll be posting there first till I decide. :)
Priorities. :-)
Guys aren’t worth my time, must keep on reminding myself of that haha. And yup, Ben (aka my once closest confidant) is back. -rolls eyes- Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve decided to kind of forgive him completely, it has been 2 months. I admit I was kinda disappointed plus really hurt when he started ignoring me plus wasn’t there for me when I was in one of my toughest times… But now I’ve learnt a lot and I kind of understand that some people won’t be there for you all the time.
I’m already healing. Whatever he says doesn’t affect me anymore, a tiny part of my heart will always be with him, because he broke down all my walls duh. But, for now it’s over and I’m so so glad hehe. We aren’t on talking terms atm, but… he has started commenting on my fb stuff. Here’s to being friends again. I’m sorry that I can’t believe/trust you completely ever again. But lets see how things turn out. :)
It’s time for me to walk away silently. It has gone on long enough. Lots of things have reminded me that I’ve really got to move on and to stop holding on to this friendship, when the other person doesn’t even try anymore. And I’m kind of feeling a bit awkward to say this… but I did fall for you for a little while, even though I knew you were batting for the same team. Thank goodness, I could still pull myself out, with the help of God, my friends who know about this, etc.
Not lying. I’ll miss you a hell lot, you’ve been there for one year, and you did what most people couldn’t do. You broke through all my walls in 2010, and in my darkest moments, you were there. You made me open up, and slowly to the people around me. In short, you kind of saved me when I was drowning. And I’m really grateful for that, I won’t forget what you did. :)
But everything’s different now, you will no longer be the one to save me. I’m going to be my own hero, and depend on God and myself for whatever. You won’t see this, but I’m just hoping that you’ve a good life, good friends, and don’t let people bring you down so easily, treat people more nicely like in the way you treated me. Treat your ex-bf that way please, he still can’t let go of you, he still can’t move on, he still loves you. Let him down easily.
Hopefully, closure for me please. This has gone on for far too long, I was in denial for the past few months. But now, I’m alr more than halfway to moving on though I still get reminded of you by so many little things. You’ve left a far too deep impact on my life. It won’t be easy, but God will help me. :)
And I will help myself.
Lying to myself tryin’a act like I don’t care
The way it’s killing me every time
That you’re not there
Coz I get weak
I’m giving it all away
I know it’s not wise to leave myself so open but
All the rules get broken in your eyes
I give it all up to you
And everything that’s been keeping me together
Brings me to my knees
I get weak
I get weak
And all the walls I’ve been building up
Crack and then break when you’re around
I get weak
Nothing I do to fight it matter now
Goodbye. Take care. I love you, bro.
I haven’t came here in a long while. … They changed the font. Now the HTML’s part is Georgia, guess I’ve to type here then.
Main point is: We’ve drifted away.
Or maybe it’s just that I’ve drifted away from y’all without noticing it… is it?
Give me an answer. Don’t leave me hanging. I still regard all of you as bffs/close friends, yknow. Even if the answer hurts, just reply.
I’m tired of crying and trying. And as I read the post below, posted 2 months back with the quote “Appreciate and love all the people by your side, before one day it gets too late and you don’t even get to see them anymore.”
Maybe it’s supposed to be this way. I don’t know anymore.
@10.30pm.
I’m sick of it. Sick of getting trampled over and teased to no end now as I look back on today and yesterday. I don’t know why my brain suddenly chose to rewind to those moments too. But there must be a reason for that.
Don’t know whether all these are affecting me more than I let on. But let me caution those people. I know y’all think its funny/fun/amusing to imitate whatever I do consciously or unconsciously most of the time, but I’m sick of it.
I’m ashamed to say that I almost cried when 5C23 peeps were laughing @ me during lunch on Mon. But I was in an unstable condition right then, because of what happened on Sunday night. So maybe my emotions were haywire and out of control.
But no, if that happens again, I won’t give people the satisfaction of seeing me crying over such a minor thing or getting angry, and then getting laughed at more. Watch it people, I’ve limits too. It’s just that y’all haven’t seen my completely lose-my-entire-control side, because I dare to say that I’ve never ever lost complete control over myself in front of people outside. ‘Cept my family, especially my mum, when I can’t take everything anymore.
So yea, watch your back. :) And be careful. I can’t say when an explosion may suddenly happen -shrugs- :}
LOL I sound totally vengeful here ._. Guess life’s getting to me. And everything too.
Whatever manzx. I’ll do anything I want to y’all, if this continues. You guys won’t see this post anw. ^^
K bye.
@11.07pm.
1) Chaos and vulgarities flying ’round just now -rolls eyes- Awesome environment to be in. Yea, just keep your f-ing mouth shut. Thanks loads.
2) Feel like crying.
3) Life sucks.
4) Random strangers on tumblr who care GMH. <3 Seriously, thank you whoever you are for saying you’ll always be here for me and for asking what’s wrong.
5) Oh hi B. You don’t have to pretend that you care anymore. I know you don’t. So yea, just ignore whatever I tell you next time. And you didn’t tell me certain stuff that happened to you. Sorry if I sound annoyed but I just had to know/understand whatever happened to you, through one of your friends, or rather classmate. So yup, so much for being your “sis”.
6) Sleepy. Feel like strangling certain people atm.
7) I want to sleep.
8) Screw you chem.
9) Screw you PI.
10) God, please give me patience, help me to bear with whatever is going on, help me to carry on, give me the strength to ignore certain people and situations, to continue moving on, to continue doing what I’m s’posed to do.
@10pm.
Better not read, ‘cuz its another rant again hmm.
Sigh. I think I think of death too much, for my own good.
And get emotional too easily. Either that or its due to PMS ._. And the sad songs I’m hearing now. Plus the fact that a person dear to me is pushing me away and refusing to tell me what’s wrong.
Yea maybe. Oh well, guess I need to get off facebook, before I cry more. I’ve cried enough today earlier alr. -.-‘
Burying myself in work sounds like a really good idea now.
/edit @10.14pm.
Oh btw. I’m sick of hearing those stuff, no matter how true it is and even though I say it sometimes too. Like “live in the moments, life is worth it, think about makes you happy.” Now I understand how people feel when they hear all these for so many times. Thing is, dear, I know ’em alr, know ’em too well in fact. So just leave me the hell alone, let me wallow for a bit. I can’t be happy and bouncy all the time. Yea, I know I can’t be emo all the time too. But I’m better, compared to sec 3 when I wore my feelings on my sleeve, didn’t know how to conceal my emotions, and made myself seem like an emo kid all the time.
Yup. Phew, that felt better ._. Sorry, but then maybe I seem too patient/tolerable of people’s feelings. And I’m tired of being polite and careful of people’s emotions. So yea, I apologise in advance, if I hurt anyone’s feelings unconsciously or consciously, in the past, presently or in the future.
And oh whatever. If you want to push me away, it’s your choice. I’m sick of caring so much.
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虽然自己有很多话要说，但这些话可能永远说不出。 